Mrs Hudson's Smartphone
by calgarry
Summary: Mrs Hudson gets a smartphone for Christmas from John, but can't quite get the hang of it. Short, sweet little stories told in texts,not necessarily in order. Essentially a collection of oneshots, with some plots running through the whole story. Please read and review!
1. Autocorrect

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

* * *

John, dear? Are you there?

_Yes, Mrs Hudson. How do you like the new phone I got you?_

It's a nice present, but this smart phone isn't very smart.

_Why not? What's wrong with it?_

I keep telling it what I want it to do and it doesn't lunch it.

_I'm sorry?_

It doesn't lunch it, and it keeps changing what I type as while.

_It must be autocorrect, it changes your words to what it thinks it should be._

What? Auto cucumber?

I mean almost correct?

AUTO CORRECT. There, got it know.

NOW.

Can you turn it off for me please Jane?

JOHN.

I don't lunch this much.

_Coming, Mrs Hudson._


	2. Group text

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

**Bold is Sherlock**

Group text: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Martha Hudson

Oh! What's this?

_It's a group text, Mrs Hudson. You can talk to me and Sherlock together._

I didn't mean to do that, I just kept tapping the screen. How do I stop it?

_You can't._

**What's this? - SH**

It's a group text. You can talk to John and Sherlock together.

I mean, me and John together.

John and I?

**Oh, goody! - SH**

_Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Sherlock._

**Oh for God's sake get a new line, John! What's the point of this? -SH**

_For fun, Sherlock. You know what that is?_

**Fun is solving a case. - SH**

_Fun is enjoying yourself._

Fun is baking cookies for you two boys!

_Oh, is that what I can smell? They smell delicious, Mrs Hudson._

Thank you. You can't have any until you to boys clean up that dining table though!

**Can't. It's in use. - SH**

_Being used for what?_

**An experiment. - SH**

No severed heads I hope?

**No. - SH**

No dangerous chemicals that could burn my good wooden table?

**…Define dangerous… - SH**

WHAT

**I mean, no, of course not Mrs Hudson. - SH**

Good. The cookies are oat and razor.

Oat and restored.

John, I think that auto cucumber's come back.

CORRECT.

_Coming, Mrs Hudson._


	3. Lost phone

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

* * *

John, could you help me with something please?

John? Are you there?

John?

Hello?

Anybody home?

_Sorry Mrs Hudson, I lost my phone._

Oh. Have you found it yet?

_No, not yet. I'll text you when I find it, okay?_

Okay.

Wait a minute…

That was mean, John.

_Sorry Mrs Hudson, I couldn't resist._

Don't do it again.

_I won't._


	4. Apps

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

**Bold is Sherlock**

* * *

4:48pm

John, what's an apple?

_It's a fruit Mrs Hudson. Round and red? You bought some for us this week?_

I know what an apple is John! I meant an apple for your phone.

_Apple is a phone company…?_

I know that, I'm not stupid!

_Sorry._

My phone keeps telling me to go to the apple store to get apples for my phone.

_Could you explain more please?_

It wants me to get an apple for writing notes on. Wouldn't it be easier to write notes with pen and paper? An apple would be hard…

_App, Mrs Hudson. App. Not apple._

Oh. What's that?

_It's…it's a…thing…on your phone…it's too hard to explain. Can't you look it up in the dictionary?_

I did, but it's not in the dictionary.

_And how old is that dictionary?_

Old.

_It's short for application, it's all the things on your phone…oh, I can't explain it! Ask Sherlock!_

Alright then, no need to shout.

* * *

5:30pm

Sherlock?

**Hello Mrs Hudson, how may I help you? – SH**

You're in a good mood today! Was that sarcasm?

**Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Mrs Hudson. - SH**

John said I should ask you to explain what an app is.

**Was he busy? – SH**

No, he didn't know how to explain it.

**This time of day on a Saturday, if he's not in the flat he's likely out with Sarah; so he didn't want to talk to you because he wanted to concentrate on her rather than his landlady's technological problems. – SH**

Oh. Okay then.

What's an app? You didn't answer.

**It's a thing on your phone. – SH**

…I give up.


	5. Emoticons

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

* * *

John? Are you there?

_I'm always here, Mrs Hudson. What do you want?_

What does this mean? :)

_It's an emoticon. It's a smiley face, it means you're happy._

It's not a smiley face, it's some random punctuation.

_Turn your phone on its side._

Oh. That's clever. Does that mean :D and :( are smiley faces as well?

_:D is happy, but :( is a sad face._

Oh, okay. How about 8==D? Is that a very happy face?

_What?! Where did you see that, Mrs Hudson?_

Someone texted me with that, it was a wrong number.

_It's…it's not a smiley face, no._

What is it then?

_It's…just some random punctuation, like you said. Nothing to worry about Just…don't use it again._

Only if you explain.

_It's…I can't text it._

Well come downstairs and tell me then.

_Coming, Mrs Hudson._


	6. Autocorrect 2

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Underline and italics is Molly_

* * *

Halo?

Molly?

Are you there?

_Who is this?_

It's Mrs Hudson, deer. This is Molly, isn't it?

_Yes. Did Sherlock give you my number?_

Yes. Could you hip me, please?

_Hip?_

HELP.

_Oh. What do you need?_

I have this thing on my phone, and I can't get it of.

_Like a fly?_

No, it's called auto cucumber. Something like that.

_Auto cucumber?_

Oh, do you have it two?

Auto CORRECT. Sorry, deer.

_Oh, auto correct! Right. Do you want me to fix it for you?_

Yes, pizza deer. John and Sherlock are out of tune.

*please *dear *tune

*TOWN

_I'm at the morgue right now, but I can get to Baker Street soon if you like._

Tank you Molly.

_Any time, Mrs Hudson._


	7. A note from me to you

**Hello there readers! I'd like to apologise for the fact that this is a note, rather than another chapter. I will have the next one up soon, I promise, but there's some things I wanted to say first.**

**Firstly, thank you for being wonderful readers. I was absolutely blown away by the response to this story: over 2,000 views, 35 followers, 18 favourites, and 25 reviews right now! This is amazing, the most successful of my stories by far. Thank you so much to all who have contributed to those stats in any way.**

**Next, thank you for your kind reviews, they are lovely to read and really brighten my day. I love to hear from you, please feel free to review at any time throughout the story. I would especially like to thank madinalakesavedmylife, who always gives great reviews and in fact gave me inspiration for my next story, which will be appearing soon.**

**This leads me nicely onto my next point, which is that I am actually starting to run out of ideas for new chapters. I would love to continue this story, but I cannot without more ideas. So, if anybody has any ideas for more things that can go wrong with the smartphone, or for characters they would like to hear from; anything at all, please leave a review telling me your idea, and I will do my utmost to bring your ideas to life.**

**Lastly, thank you all once again for your support, and please keep reading and reviewing! I love you all!**

**-Calgarry.**


	8. Language barriers

**Hello there again. Thank you for the responses to the last chapter, I now have loads of ideas thanks to you guys!**

**This is the promised chapter, from an idea from the amazing madinalakesavedmylife. It follows on from the last chapter. Sorry about the bad Spanish, I don't speak the language, I got it from Google Translate.**

* * *

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

* * *

Welcome back to London John! How was Baskerville?

_It was good thanks Mrs Hudson. How's your phone behaving?_

It's mostly alright. It was stuck on auto correct when you were gone, but that nice girl Molly fixed it for me. You know, the one who works with the dead people.

Oh goodness, that sounded mean. Sorry, Molly.

_She can't see this._

She fixed it, but…

_But what?_

Well, I can text in English, but…

_But what?_

It really doesn't matter that much, sorry to bother you.

_But WHAT?_

Well, my phone is Spanish now.

_WHAT?_

The menu and everything…it's in another language, I think it's Spanish. For example, what does mensaje mean?

_I don't speak Spanish, but I asked Sherlock and he says it means messages._

He speaks Spanish?

_What doesn't he speak?_

Good point.

_So, Molly fixed your phone, but she didn't fix it._

That's right, but it's not her fault. She's a lovely girl, really.

_I'm coming back from a crime scene with Sherlock now, we should be about 30 minutes or so. Do you want me to take a look at it when we get back?_

Yes please, John. Thank you.

_Any time._

¡John, los textos están en español ahora! ¡Ayuda!

_Coming, Mrs Hudson._


	9. Negative

**This chapter is inspired by an idea from GraceH208. Thank you, Grace!**

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

John?

_Yes, Mrs Hudson? How may I help you on this fine morning?_

You're very jolly today.

_The sun is shining, the birds are singing – what isn't there to be happy about?_

It's raining, John.

_Oh. So it is. Ah well. Still a nice day._

It's a miserable day. It just started hailing.

_Sherlock's away._

I see.

_So, what was it you wanted? You never text me unless there's a favour you want. Is your phone acting up again?_

How did you know?

_Call it man's intuition._

Right. Anyway, the screen's gone funny.

_Define 'funny' for me._

Well, the colours are backwards.

Like a negative photo, but the whole phone.

And it makes the pictures on the phone look strange.

And everything, actually.

The writing's white, and the background is black.

So, will you be able to fix it?

Hello?

Are you there, John?

_I'm here. I was just enjoying what you were saying._

That's not very nice.

_Sorry. Now, did you play with the square?_

What?

_The square thing, on your phone. Might you have pressed it three times together?_

…maybe…

_I'll take that as a yes. So, to fix that you need to do it again._

I beg your pardon?

_Tap the square thing three times, again. It should go away._

I'll try that then.

It didn't work.

_Why not?_

I don't know, you tell me. You're the smart one.

_I' not, Sherlock is._

Yes, and he's lovely. But you know about smartphones.

_Thank you!_

Besides, Sherlock's away.

_Oh. Okay then. Would you like me to have a go anyway? Are you sure I can do it?_

Yes please!

_Coming, Mrs Hudson._


	10. Disagreement

**A/N: Sorry to anyone who likes Bruce Forsyth, I just find him really annoying!**

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

**Bold is Sherlock**

* * *

Group text: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Martha Hudson

How did this get here? I didn't do anything this time.

_Can you help me, Mrs Hudson?_

This makes a change. What do you two boys want?

_Me and Sherlock are having a…disagreement, and I wonder if you could give him a message please._

What do you want me to say?

_Could you please tell Sherlock that if he wants me to live in the same flat as another living person, the least he could do is get the milk once in a while!_

Sherlock, John wants you to get the milk.

**Please tell John that it should be 'Sherlock and I', and that it's his job this week.**

John, he corrected your grammar and said it's your job this week.

_When did we get a roster? And please tell him that he's being a sanctimonious git._

I'm not repeating that.

_Sorry. When did we get a roster?_

When did you get a roster, Sherlock?

Tis repeating is getting annoying.

**I made one.**

He made one.

_When?_

When?

**Just now. And it's your job this week. And next week, come to that.**

Just now, and it's your job this week and next week (and probably the week after).

**I didn't say that!**

Sorry. Ignore that last part, John.

_Well, it's been my job every week. Is it ever his turn?_

Is it ever your turn, Sherlock?

**Some time it will be just not this week. Or next week.**

I give up!

_As usual, he will never be responsible for anything, he'll just leave it all to me as usual I suppose!_

**Mrs Hudson, please tell John that I need time to think so that I can solve triple homicides!**

_Mrs Hudson, please tell Sherlock that maybe if he thought a little less, he'd be happier!_

**Please tell John that I don't need to be 'happy'! I need to think!**

_Please tell him that it works for everyone else!_

**Tell John that emotions are an unnecessary concept!**

_Right! Please tell him that if he needs milk for one of his experiments, there won't be any because HE HASN'T GOT IT!_

**Ask John whether he wants the cases to be solved, or if he just wants milk for his breakfast cereal!**

_Please remind Sherlock that he wouldn't know what breakfast cereal is, he never has any breakfast anyway!_

**Breakfast is unnecessary!**

_Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! I am a doctor you know, I know these things! Even though you don't think I know anything, I had to pass my exams, same as everyone else. I have a bran, you know!_

**So you keep saying, it's just not as advanced as mine obviously.**

_Oh, obviously. Of course nobody's as good as you, are they, you sanctimonious little git!_

**Might I remind you that I am taller than you!**

_Taller AND smarter. Of course. Sherlock Holmes, better than everybody else in the whole wide world!_

**Well…close enough.**

_Close enough?! Right. That does it. I give up. I. Give. Up. You can take your milk, and your experiments, and shove them…you know where. I am leaving. Goodbye, Sherlock, and I hope you wither away without any milk!_

**Fair enough.**

_I will, I'm going to go to Harry's for a few days._

**Goodbye then.**

_Goodbye._

Well, that was interesting viewing. Much better than that annoying Bruce Forsyth.


	11. Psychic

**Thank you for reading my story thus far! I am amazed at how many people have read this story, and I thank you all.**

**I would just like to quickly point out that the spelling mistake in the last chapter – when John said bran rather than brain – was supposed to be a mistake that John made. It was a deliberate mistake on my part. Thank you to the people who pointed it out though, good spotting!**

**Now let's jolly on with the story. This is set a few days after the last chapter.**

* * *

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

**Bold is Sherlock**

* * *

10:25am

Hello John dear, how are you? How's Harry?

_I'm fine. Look, this time let's skip the faffing around, what do you want? Is your phone malfunctioning again? What can I do for you this time?_

Nothing, John! My phone is…fine. Fine. I was just asking how you are, and your dear sister.

_You don't like my sister._

Have I ever said that? I've never said that. Not out loud, anyway.

_It's as plain as the nose on your face, Mrs Hudson. You don't need to be my flatmate to work it out._

_So what is it this time? Is your phone negative again? Have you lost your phone perhaps? Ringer acting up? I'll try to help you, even though I'm sure my flatmate could do so much better, seeing as he's so much better at everything than anybody else in the world!_

_I'm sorry Mrs Hudson. That was out of order. Can I help you?_

Nothing, John. I have said.

_Are you sure?_

Perfectly sure. How's dear Harry?

_She's fine, and so am I. Now if you'll excuse me, have to go now._

Goodbye John, I'll talk to you some other time then.

* * *

2:39pm

Sherlock, could you help me with my phone please?

I tried asking John, but he seemed…distracted.

**He wasn't distracted, he was angry at me because he still blames me. His week with his sister is not going as well as he hoped it would, and he regrets leaving Baker Street but would never admit it. His text to you was quite cutting, and although he apologised, you were still wary of asking him your question. Now, what is wrong with your phone?**

Wow. You got all that from one text?

**Two texts, actually.**

Wow. I'm surprised you don't know what's wrong with my phone.

**I do know, I was giving you a chance to ask.**

**Go to the menu, then to Settings, then to the third option down. Set that to 'off' and you will be fine.**

Wow. Again. How do you do that?

**I'm busy with a body, no time to explain.**

So…you're a busy body?

Get it? Busy with a body?

Busy body?

Oh come on Sherlock, that joke was funny.

Sherlock?

**Have a nice day, Mrs Hudson. Goodbye.**

Goodbye, Sherlock.


	12. Red Button

**A/N: This is quite a long chapter, taking place over a couple of days. It's from an idea by Smiley Face Ace, so you can thank her for the idea.**

**I hope this makes sense, it was a fairly hard chapter to write actually.**

**On with the show!**

* * *

Normal is Mrs Hudson

**Bold is Sherlock**

_Italics is John_

* * *

Monday

**Mrs Hudson, can I borrow your phone? -SH**

Why can't you just use yours?

**I can't find mine. –SH**

Oh no you don't, young man. John already got me with that one once.

**Mine is the wrong sort of phone. –SH**

For what? What do you want to use my phone for?

**I want to use an app that my phone doesn't have. –SH**

I still don't know what an app is.

**I'll tell you what an app is if you let me use your phone. -SH**

Will it help solve a case?

**Maybe. Probably. –SH**

Fancy that, my phone solving a case! Tell you what, you come down and get it. I'm baking at the moment so I can't come up.

**Coming, Mrs Hudson. –SH**

Wednesday 2:30pm

John, Sherlock's playing a new tune he composed and I'd like to record it using the app on my phone. Can you help me please?

_Well done, you worked out what an app is!_

Sherlock told me.

_Sherlock told you?!_

He wanted to use my phone, so he told me what an app is.

_That's slightly suspicious…so what was it you asked?_

I wanted to know how to record Sherlock playing the violin.

_Well, go to the list of your apps, then select the one with a picture of a black speaker. It should have lines coming out of it. Once you're in that app, press the circular red button and it will start recording._

Okay, I'll do that then. Thank you!

_You're welcome, Mrs Hudson. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a client._

_I mean patient. I've been hanging around Sherlock too much._

Wednesday 3:05pm

John, I did what you said, but I don't think it recorded anything. Instead, the speaker symbol up the top of the app blew up.

The funny thing was, there was an almighty bang at the same time. Made me jump right into the air, it did.

_The speaker blew up? A picture of a speaker?_

At the top of the screen, yes.

_There isn't supposed to be a picture of a speaker at the top of the screen, Mrs Hudson. I have exactly the same app as you, and mine doesn't have one._

Well, it was probably a speaker, I couldn't tell properly because it's too small.

_It was a small symbol, with lines coming out of it, yes?_

Yes, a small roundish picture with lines going out in all directions. Then when I pressed the red button, the speaker broke into little pieces and flew away, as if it had blown up.

_This picture…it couldn't have been a bomb that you thought was a speaker, could it?_

Maybe. I hadn't thought of that.

_And when you pressed a red button, you heard a bang outside?_

Yes, a couple of streets away, it sounded like.

Oh no.

You don't mean…

_Maybe._

Sherlock took my phone and turned it into a bomb?

_Well, not a bomb technically. Just a device that sets off a bomb._

_Maybe. We don't know for certain._

_I'll talk to him about it when I get home, okay? Stay away from him until then._

_And for goodness' sake, don't use any more apps in the meantime!_

Okay, John.

6:15pm

That was very loud, John. Did you need to shout like that?

_Yes, I did. He was being infuriating._

_By the way, you can expect a visit from him sometime soon._

6:20pm

**I'm very, very sorry, Mrs Hudson, for using your phone without your permission. –SH**

That's all right Sherlock. I forgive you.

**Thank you. –SH**

Just one thing: did you play with any of my other apps?

**Don't use the stopwatch. –SH**

I shudder to think.

Can you come down and fix it?

Please?

**Coming, Mrs Hudson. –SH**


	13. Ringtone

**A/N: This from an idea from the wonderful Captain Xena-Mation. Thanks for your contribution!**

* * *

As usual:

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

* * *

_Mrs Hudson, I need to pop into Angelo's for a case on my way home. Would you like me to pick something up for you for dinner?_

_What would you like?_

_Mrs Hudson?_

_Hello? What do you want for dinner?_

_I mean, if you want to make yourself some dinner, that's fine._

_I just thought I might help you, you know?_

_Anyone home?_

Please stop texting me, John!

_Sorry._

_Why?_

I'm trying to talk to someone!

_Who?_

_Who is it?_

_Okay, I won't text you any more._

_What do you want for dinner?_

Martha, and anything with pasta, please. Now stop!

_You don't have to answer them, you know._

_Your phone only vibrates if you've got a text, you don't need to let anyone know you've got a text._

It doesn't only vibrate, it makes a noise as well.

_What noise does it make?_

Well, you know how Sherlock had my phone for a bit?

_Yes._

And you remember that woman from the case, Adler or whatever?

_Yes._

Well, apparently you can transfer ringtones from one phone to another.

_You mean, you've got…_

Yes.

_Oh dear._

Yes.

_Sorry._

I've had to keep coughing to cover up the sound.

And the volume's up high.

Oh dear, now Sherlock's texting me. Can you come over and sort it out please?

_I'm on my way from Antonio's now._

Thank you, John.

_Coming, Mrs Hudson._


	14. Forgotten

**A/N: This chapter is from another reader's idea. This time it is Saavikam69. Thank you very much to you also for your contribution :)**

* * *

The usual:

Normal is Mrs Hudson

_Italics is John_

**Bold is Sherlock**

Next time, I'm not going to clarify this for you; it's going to be a test of how much you've been paying attention! That, and I'm getting bored of typing it out each time.

* * *

Group text: Martha Hudson, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes

11:52am

Sorry to bother you two boys, but could one of you please get me some milk? I probably shouldn't leave the house, you see.

_Of course I will, Mrs Hudson. How are you feeling?_

I'm fine, John. It's just a silly cold.

_Even colds could develop into pneumonia. You don't want pneumonia, believe me._

**She's not going to get pneumonia, John! It's just a cold! -SH**

Yes, John. It's just a cold.

_Well, if it's just a cold, maybe Sherlock should get the milk for a change!_

**What? I- how does that even relate? -SH**

_It doesn't, but you should get Mrs Hudson's milk for her._

**Fine then. -SH**

_And you can get some for us while you're at it._

**No. That's your job this week. -SH**

You're not still on that, are you?

_Apparently so. Fine, I'll get the milk. But just this once, mind._

Thank you, John.

Sherlock?

**Fine. Thank you, John. -SH**

5:37pm

**Did you get the milk, John? -SH**

_Of course. I always get the milk, remember?_

**Good. And I hope you haven't forgotten that Mrs Hudson's birthday is coming up. I see you haven't bought her a present yet. -SH**

_Oh, drat! I know there was something happening soon. When is it?_

**Tomorrow. What are you going to get her? -SH**

_Bother, bother, drat. I don't know, it's too short notice. Why didn't you mention this earlier?_

**I thought you might have taken the opportunity to buy her one while getting the milk. -SH**

_Well, I didn't know about it at the time, did I? Bugger. Any ideas?_

**I'm getting her a cookery book, but I'm going to pretend that I forgot. -SH**

_Why?_

**She thinks we've both forgotten. I'll give it to her at the last minute. Why don't you get her that nice cushion you saw a couple of days ago? -SH**

_Did I tell you about that?_

**No. -SH**

_Why am I not surprised? I think I will get her the cushion, though. Thanks for the idea, Sherlock._

**You're welcome. -SH**

_And please don't let her know that I forgot!_

Too late, John.

_Mrs Hudson? But…Sherlock, you used the group text from before, didn't you?_

**It was more easily accessible! You should have noticed, anyway. -SH**

_I was too busy thinking about Mrs Hudson's birthday! Besides, you're the one that notices things._

Never mind, boys. It was very entertaining!


	15. Auto cucumber?

Hi, everyone! Sorry it's taken me so long to update, but I've had school and stuff, and I just didn't have time...apparently there is such thing as a life outside the Internet! Who'd have thought it?

Now, let's see if you can remember who is who! Or should that be whom? I never know.

* * *

John, can you hell me?

*help my

*hell MY

*HELP ME

_What's wrong?_

John!

_What?_

You knot very well it's the anti correct!

*auto correct

That's gold! It didn't chains it two correct!

*correct

*CORRECT

I can't say correct know, John!

I mean correct.

You now, the long green vegetable?

Correct.

_Repeating the word won't catch it out, you know._

I con try!

Can you please fix it?

_I'm a bit busy now, maybe later?_

But what if I rum out of corrects and I need yew to buy some more for me, but you can't because you don't understand what I mane?

_Fine. Coming, Mrs Hudson._


	16. Stopwatch

**The idea for this chapter comes from the lovely x Ace x Girl x Called x Ace x, whom I believe has contributed ideas before under a different name. Thanks again, Ace!**

**And thank you to you all for reading this story, I'm glad you like it! Please do remember to review this story, if you have any ideas I'd love to hear from you. Or even if you just want to say hi.**

**Oh, and you all passed the test with flying colours! As reward, I'll only be introducing new characters at the start of the chapters. It'll be easier for everyone, methinks (sorry, I'm tired).**

**Anyway, on with the show! (I hate to think how many times I've used that opening for a chapter, so sorry)**

* * *

9:35am

John, I don't think the stopwatch on my phone is working.

_Have you done anything to it?_

No. Last time I used it, it worked fine.

_When did you last use it?_

I was timing the cake for Sherlock's birthday a few months ago, because the people hadn't come to fix the timer on my oven. They still haven't come, so I was timing the cookies I'm making for your friend Molly using my smartphone.

I'm still not convinced it should be called a smartphone. It's not very smart.

_So what's gone wrong with it now?_

I started the timer, but it just counted down from ten and stopped. I can't make it do anything now, it's stuck on zero. Can you help?

_Have you let anyone else near your phone since?_

Only you and Sherlock. And Molly, but we fixed the Spanish, remember?

_And Sherlock said he fixed your voice recorder, correct?_

Yes.

Oh, no. I just remembered something.

_What?_

He also said not to use the stopwatch. He said he'd come and fix it, but then that fake drugs bust came up and we both forgot.

_I suggest you ask him what he did. And quickly. Before I have a chance to ring him and tell him what I think._

I'll do that then. Thanks for the advice.

_Any time, Mrs Hudson._

10:14am

Sherlock, do you remember that time you wired up my phone to be a bomb?

**Of course. Why are you asking? –SH**

**Actually, don't tell me. You're using that statement as a prelude to a longer story. Your casual wording suggests an accusation of some sort, which you are too polite to mention straight off. You have found something on your phone, connected to that bomb, which you have reason to believe I planted there. I would guess that you tried to use the stopwatch, despite my warning, and found the countdown. It ended, and you do not know what happened, but you fear that something did. Am I correct? –SH**

**Also, you're never this direct at the start of a conversation, which means that you have been discussing the issue with someone else. It could be John or Molly, but I'd guess John, as he is your go-to person for technical problems and he knew about the first bomb. Besides, Molly is in the morgue with me, and John is at work. So you've been talking to John, and you are both disappointed in me for not having fixed your phone. –SH**

Wow. How did you do that?

**I explained all my deductive reasoning. –SH**

So what did the countdown do?

**I rather hoped you wouldn't use it. I was experimenting, seeing what a smartphone is capable of in terms of mobile detonation. –SH**

Sherlock. What did it do?

**Turn on the news. There should be a headline. –SH**

This doesn't sound good.

Oh, no.

Sherlock!

Big Ben?

Why? Why Big Ben? And how do you think they're going to fix that? It's huge!

**It's not Big Ben, it's Big Ben's clock tower. Big Ben is the bell inside the tower. –SH**

**And like I said, I didn't think you would use it! –SH**

And now my cookies are burnt! Sherlock, how could you?

**Molly won't mind, I'm sure. –SH**

I wanted them to be special for her.

Wait – how did you know they were for Molly? I didn't say anything.

**I worked it out, like I said before. –SH**

Sherlock, could you please come home right now and fix this? I can't have my cookies getting burnt again!

**What about Big Ben? –SH**

I won't have my present for Molly spoiled again!

**Fine. Coming, Mrs Hudson. –SH**


End file.
